“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Grief and Hope.

As we approach the 2 year mark of my dad’s passing, these two words have been resonating in my mind and heart.

Grief.
Hope.

Sometimes these words seem mutually exclusive. If you are grieving, can you really have hope? If you have hope, are you allowed to grieve?

And the more I process, the more I come to the conclusion that the answer to both of these questions is a resounding yes!

Grief and hope don’t have to be “either/or”. It can be Grief AND Hope. Hand and hand. Side by side.

I look at the story of Jesus and Lazarus.

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are close to Jesus. Jesus cared about them and so when they sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick, you would think that he would have ran to the town where he was and healed him right away. Instead the Bible says that because he loved Lazarus, he stayed where he was two more days. Eventually he made his way to where Lazarus was, but by this time, his friend had died. Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days.

Jesus went to the tomb and in John 11:35, we see 2 powerful words.

“Jesus wept.”

If you know the story, you know that Jesus ended up raising Lazarus from the dead. His friend came out of the tomb alive and well. They took off his burial clothes and Lazurus lived the rest of his life.

But the thing that has been getting me is that Jesus knew that there was hope. He had told his disciples that this wouldn’t end in death. He knew that he would see his friend again. He knew that when he saw his friend, he would be well, no longer sick.

Yet he still wept.

Grief AND Hope.

And I think it’s the same for us today. When we lose someone who had a relationship with Jesus, we know that there is hope. We know that death doesn’t get the final word in eternity. We know that we will see our loved one again. We know that when we see him or her again, they will be fully made well in their new heavenly body.

Yet we still weep.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to weep. It’s okay to not be okay. As long as by the end of the day, we realize that when we grieve, we don’t grieve like those without hope.

And that, my friend, is a beautiful thing.

Both of these were read at my dad’s funeral service. We both could have written much more about what we learned from him, but we would have been there all day. We had a great dad. 

Six Things My Dad Taught Me

Written By: His Baby Girl

• The heart of the Father

I don’t know how many times we would be in conversation talking about a need for us or the ministry and my dad instantly would ask how much it was and say that they were going to cover it. We weren’t asking for help. He just saw a need and he wanted to meet it. Because of this, I would pray for God’s provision on bigger things and I would think about my dad. If my earthly father wanted to meet our needs so much and would do whatever he could to make it happen, how much more was our Heavenly father able and willing to meet our needs? He showed me the heart of the Father.

• How to be a friend

My dad was willing to do anything to help someone. He would drive hours to help a friend. He would drop everything he was doing to be with someone who needed him. He would visit people in the hospital, attend funerals for people he didn’t even know to support those he did know, and he would give his time, money, and energy to those around him. If I am half as good of a friend as him, I will feel like I have succeeded. He was just that good of a friend to people.

• The importance of God’s Word

Growing up, I would walk into his room and see him reading his Bible. It was nothing unusual. It was just something I always saw. As I grew older, I realized how special this was. He loved to talk about what he read and would ask questions about the scriptures. He loved the Bible. Even while he was sick in hospice care and had no energy to read, he kept his Bible in his bed with him. It was an honor for me during his last few weeks of life to be able to sit or lay next to him in his bed and read the Bible to him. I knew the memories I was making with Him would last forever.

• How to be a giver

My dad realized that his money wasn’t his own and that was evident in all that he did. God blessed him and He wanted to be a blessing to others. I’m sure there were so many people who received from my dad that we won’t ever even know about. He wasn’t doing it for the attention or for a thank you. He saw a need and he met it. I have always looked up to him in this and wanted to be the kind of person, just like him, with an open heart and open hands.

• To take pride in what we do and in what we had

According to the world’s standards, my dad was probably never the smartest in the room. He had a high school education and never went to college. But my dad had something that not everyone has: a great work ethic. He took pride in what he did and would always make sure that it was done right. He worked for over 30 years at Exxon, learning his trade and he knew how to work with his hands. Around the house, he would always want it to be clean and would do whatever it took to make that happen, even if sometimes I would make that difficult. Sorry for all of the messes, dad. 😉 He knew that material possessions were temporary, but he also realized that they were a gift from God and he took good care of what he was entrusted with. I want to have that mentality in my life.

• The value of integrity.

I sat with him one day during his hospice time and we talked. I was talking about something and he said these three words: “Integrity, Integrity, Integrity”. And if I was to sum up my dad’s life in three words, I could easily say “integrity, integrity, integrity”. He did the right thing whether everyone was watching or no one was watching. That’s just who he was. People at Exxon lovingly and respectfully called him “Preacher” because he was a man of integrity. And he instilled that in Joey and I from a young age. My brother and I are who we are today because of his influence on our lives and his constant teaching and showing us that doing the right thing is the most important thing.

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Love.

Sometimes it’s romantic.

Sometimes it’s friendship.

Sometimes it’s laughter.

Sometimes it’s a companion for tears.

Sometimes it’s easy.

Sometimes it’s difficult.

Sometimes it’s coffee shops and shopping malls.

Sometimes it’s late night conversations.

Sometimes it’s rejoicing in the good.

Sometimes it’s walking with someone through the bad.

Sometimes it’s Instagram.

Sometimes it’s private.

Sometimes it’s “because”.

Sometimes it’s “in spite of”.

Love.

It’s holding hands. It’s inside jokes. It’s girls’ nights. It’s date nights. It’s opening up your heart. It’s friendship. It’s companionship. It’s knowing that you aren’t alone in this crazy world.

Love.

It’s talking with someone as they contemplate suicide, trying to get them the help that they need. It’s walking with someone as they go through a difficult time in their life. It’s being available even when it’s not convenient. It’s speaking truth to someone even when they don’t want to hear it. It’s accountability and vulnerability and everything in between.

Love.

It’s beautiful. It’s messy.

But you know what else it is?

It’s worth it.

January 1st, 2019 marks 3 of the best years of my life.

Reinier, do you remember when you flew across the world to see me and meet the rest of my (crazy) family?

What about the time that you rented a plane (thanks to your amazing pilot neighbor!) to ask me to be your wife?

I still have all of the postcards that you sent every week during our long distance engagement, counting down the weeks until we saw each other again.

You pursued me well.

But you know what I really remember? The “little” things. The everyday ways that you make life fun and make this journey of missions and parenting and everything in between a experience that I will never take for granted.

It’s the way you make my favorite meals or bring home a candy bar from the grocery store because you know I like my sweets.

It’s the race to get into the bed first at night so that the other person has to turn off the light.

It’s the evenings after a long day that we sit on the couch and watch our shows together.

It’s the way that you spend time with Joshua. No one can make him laugh like his daddy.

It’s the way you take care of the cars and the house and anything else that somehow gets broken along the way.

It’s the way you treat our parents.

It’s how you kiss me goodnight and good morning every day.

The list could go on and on.

But as I think about all of these “little” things, I realize that they aren’t so little after all.

I would trade a plane, flying across the world, and all of the postcards for just a moment, cuddled up on the couch with you.

Thank you for making the “little” things the big things. Thank you for pursuing me well before marriage, but also making me feel loved and cherished and even more pursued after we said “I do.”

I love you!

Your wife,

Kristen

 

 

 

So since my last blog (which has been a while…oops!), we have had a pretty big life-change.

Joshua Adin Vorster was born on July 9th and has stolen our hearts (and our sleep) since then! We are thankful for the opportunity to raise him. We know that it’s an honor to be his parents and we can’t wait to see him grow. (Just be aware that most of my Facebook posts and Instagram pics will probably be of him now. He is cuter than the rest of us anyways. ha!) 

So in saying that, this is also my first (probably of many) “Lessons from Joshua” posts… I hope you enjoy!

One thing about this little guy is that he lets us know when he wants something.

Need a bottle? He cries. 

A diaper change? Bring on the tears.

Been in the car seat too long? Yep…you guessed it. He’s letting the whole car know that he isn’t happy!

But the sweetest cry? It’s when he just wants to be held. It makes this mama’s heart smile when he just leans his head on mine or Reiner’s chest and just finds contentment. He isn’t asking for anything. He just wants to be near us.

And during these moments, my thoughts go to our Heavenly Father. There are times when we are like Joshua and we cry out to Him, telling Him our needs and asking that He provide for us. And in those moments, He is there to comfort us and give us what He knows that we need. He is good!

But how much does His heart smile when we come to Him, not because we need anything, but because we just want to be held? Those moments when we don’t come to Him with any requests except for one:

I just want to be with You. 

And in that moment, everything else around us fades away. Our problems don’t seem so big. Our priorities are put in place. And we can rest in His love, knowing that we are secure in Him. It’s oh-so beautiful.

So my challenge for all of us, myself included, is that we find times to rest in His love. Go to your Father-God, not with a long list of things that He can do, but with a desire to just be with Him.

And just like Joshua, we can find rest.

P.S. Thanks to Debbie Click for taking these cute pics. She captured his personality perfectly. 🙂

 

 

So I think that it is safe to say that this baby has been on my mind a lot the last few months! It’s an exciting time of preparation and of expectancy… and questions. Lots and lots of questions.

Boy or girl?

Will he/she be a redhead?

What will this child sound like? (I mean, he/she has a Texan mom, a South African dad, and lives in Madagascar. The accent will have to be unusual!)

These are the basic questions, but there are also a lot of deeper questions. Not just about the baby, but about me.

 Am I really ready to parent this child?

What if those “motherly instincts” don’t just kick in like everyone says they do?

What about… (insert  more questions here)?

But y’all, God is so good. Every time these questions and worries start showing their ugly heads, the Lord reminds me of this scripture:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” 2 Peter 1:3

He has given us everything that we need to live a Godly life. This verse has been so reassuring for the past few months. He has given it to me. I just get to reap the benefits!

And as my questions transfer away from me and onto this child that God has given Reinier and I, I am reminded about the story of David. I am currently in a Bible Study where we are going over this story, but I’ve always looked at it from a different angle than the study shows.

Basically, David realizes that he is living in a “palace of cedar while the ark of God remains in a tent” (2 Samuel 7:2).  He wants to build something greater for the presence of God. God then responds that it isn’t his responsibility and that He will actually build David a house!

But the part that has always been in my mind is in 2 Samuel 7:12-13. God says that he will raise David up an offspring and it’s his son that will build a house for Him.

God was calling His son to do what the father was not called to.

Psalm 127: 4 says, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”

You see an arrow goes further than the one releasing it. If the arrow stays in the pouch, it hasn’t fulfilled its purpose. If the arrow falls to the ground next to the warrior, it hasn’t done what it was destined to do.

An arrow fulfills its purpose when it goes further than the one releasing it. The arrow does what it is destined to do by being released from the hands of the warrior into the direction of the enemy.

My prayer as I begin this parenting journey is that I prepare my child for the life of Godliness, but that I’m also brave enough to release the child into the will of God. When that time comes, I want him/her to do more than what I was ever called to. I want him/her to go further than I ever will. I want to see God instill a fresh vision for the ministry. I want to pray for this child, encourage this child, and then sit back and watch how God uses him/her to fulfill His will.

And guess what? 2 Peter 1:3 will apply to “Baby Vorster” as well. God will give this child EVERYTHING he/she needs for life and Godliness.

Thank you Jesus.

-Kristen

P.S. Here is a cute picture of our little one. Baby V has grown a lot since this photo, but who doesn’t love showing off pics of their kid? 😉

Kimberly Patrice Evans- my first niece. Today is your second birthday! A lot has happened in your little life in these two years. And I know that this coming year will be even bigger and better for you.

I know that I’m not with you on your birthday and I know that this letter isn’t something that you will understand now, but in a few years, I hope this letter becomes special to you. Why? Because you are oh so special to me!

I remember praying for you long before you were born. You were an answer to a lot of prayers! And God knew exactly what He was doing when He made you.

I remember hearing about when your mom was pregnant. It was over Skype. It took your Oom Reinier a few seconds to realize what was said!

I remember getting told (over skype yet again) that you were a girl. That dress that was picked out for you before you were born would be on you before you knew it!

I remember seeing you for the first time. You looked so much like your Pops! (Thankfully you have changed since that first day. 😉)

I remember getting to hold you for the first time and you were the smallest, sweetest thing. I was so glad that I got to be in the States for your birth!

I know that I won’t be with you the majority of your life, but know that no matter how far we are, your Aunt Kristen and Oom Reinier love you so much! You have been the hardest part of being on the mission-field. I am missing you growing up, but my hope is that you follow God’s plans for your life as well, no matter what it is.

Because Kimberly, He has such big plans for you! You might not understand it now, but He loves you so much. He loves you even more than anyone on earth ever could. My prayer for you is that you will know this love and that you will trust Him with every part of your life.

As you grow older, you will have so many pressures and expectations put on you by the world. But sweet girl, you are who God made you to be. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.  Be a light in the darkness. Shine for Jesus every day. Let His love radiate through you.

Stay pure. Stay humble. And stay focused on Jesus.

And when you are older and it’s time to get married, don’t rush into your own plan. Don’t settle for anyone less than the person that God has for you. The right man will love God more than He loves you. But it is because of his relationship with God that your relationship with each other will be wonderful. He will be one that you can submit to, because He has submitted to the Lord. You are worth it!

My favorite verse is Ephesians 3:20. It says, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” Kimberly, He has the “immeasurably more” for your life and I can’t wait to see His plan come alive through you!

Like I said, I know this letter will mean nothing to your little two-year old self, so for now, enjoy your Daniel Tiger, gives lots of hugs and kisses to your “mama” and your “dada”, and make sure that your mom keeps sending me cute videos and pictures of you. It means more to me than you know.

I love you Kimberly!

Aunt Kristen

I wrote this blog a few days ago, but our wifi hasn’t been on my side. I can say that since I wrote this, I have seen God do some big things in a situation. You can trust Him! 

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Trust.

I feel like that is the word that is playing in my mind and heart a lot lately.

As I pray for the church. Trust Him.

As I ask God to provide the finances that we need. Trust Him.

As I present our desires to the Lord. Trust Him.

As I pray for those who are struggling in their walk with God. Trust Him.

What about you? Will you trust Him?

Even when His timing doesn’t line up with yours. Even when a relationship ends. Even when the bank account seems low and the bills keep piling in. Even when everyone else’s life looks better than yours. Even when… Even when…

As I was in the middle of typing this, a notification popped up on my phone… guess what it said?

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25.

There is that word again. Trust.

I love how God provides us with little reminders throughout our day. He is constantly leading us to better things. We might have to go through hard times. We might not see things play out the way that we want them to. But He is still good. He is still faithful. He is still sovereign.

We can trust Him.

So this blog will be short and sweet… I hope that it encourages you!

A few nights ago we had people over to our house for dinner. Reiner cooked (You are welcome family who came over. Him cooking means I didn’t… 😉) , so it was my job to do the dishes. And that is where my story begins…

I started washing the dishes and put on some worship music. As I was scrubbing and singing along, I just felt the presence of God. It was such a sweet time.

It was a good reminder that God desires to be included in the seemingly mundane tasks of our day.

When you are cleaning up your toddlers play room for the fifteenth time that hour.

When you are stuck in traffic coming home from work.

When the dishes are piled up and the laundry seems to be never ending.

While you wait in line at the grocery store.

While you sit in your cubicle at work.

While you sit and wait for your students to finish an assignment.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, God is there.

And that makes even the most boring tasks (like scrubbing apple pie off of the dessert plates) a sacred moment.

Don’t miss it.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

So I have been very quiet on this blog! Life gets busy and writing takes a backseat, but I’m going to TRYYYYYY to be better, I promise. 😉

I don’t have many super deep thoughts to give to my loyal readers…ummm…reader… (Hi mom!), but I do want to share a quick testimony of God’s faithfulness.

As you know, Reiner and I took over as Pastors of Living Word a little over a year ago. We love it. It’s been a stretch, but one in a good direction. I love seeing him grow in the calling that God has for his life. I’m a proud wife. 😊

But just a little background info: Our church is located in a big orange building at a busy roundabout. We love the location and it’s perfect for us. We have rented out two floors, one for the adults and one for the kids. The only downside to this is the cost. Rent in town is more expensive and our offerings do not cover even half of it. Thankfully Living Word-South Africa has been a great backing for us. But you can imagine, between the rent and other church expenses, it becomes quite a stretch sometimes. And when you are the Pastors, the financial responsibility ultimately falls on you.

There were several months in a row that we had to take out of our own pockets to pay the rent and other expenses for the church. We were thankful that God provided us the funds to be able to do it, but our bank account was also seeing the cut. We needed to make a decision and that was whether or not to keep the second floor, which is the kids church room. We gave it a deadline and said if something doesn’t happen, we’ll have to give it up.

As you know, the children’s pastor in me was REALLY trusting God for funds! About the time that we were making the decision, the kids church began to grow. We were at over 20 kids and the kids were really starting to warm up to this weird white lady that came and taught them every week. It was (and is) amazing!

So the deadline came and nothing had happened in the financial world, but thankfully I have a great Pastor who supports kids and his wife (who also REALLY loves those kids. 😉) We decided to take a step of faith and keep the floor. And not only that, we would have a fundraiser to be able to decorate the kids church, which is where the #MiniMadaMarket came into play for those of you on my FB friend list. 😊

At that time (and still today!), we had/have no idea how these funds for the rent will come in, but can I just share something cool? Since we made the decision a few months ago to keep the floor, we haven’t had to pay any extra into the church rent! I can honestly say that I don’t know how (in the physical sense) it has worked out the last few months, but when we have needed to pay the rent, it’s been there. God has just done His thing, and we get to reap the reward!

The other day, Reinier and I were talking about finances for the Wellness Center project. We had just gotten some bad news and it just wasn’t the best day in the world. But Reinier said this and it really got me thinking: “It’s God’s project so it’s His responsibility, not ours.”

Wow.

Yes, we work hard. Yes, we make sure that we are good stewards of what He has given us. Yes, we continue to do what we can do.  But in that process, we realize that it’s not really ours to begin with.

I don’t think it is any coincidence that the kids church started growing during the decision-making progress. I really believe that God wanted us to take the step of faith, continue to invest in those kids, and then let Him take the responsibility for how it all gets done.

And ultimately, that’s what we are called to do. Take the step of faith. If it’s His vision and His calling, it’s also His responsibility.

-Be blessed!

Kristen